Back On Campus


, , , , , ,

Well, the inevitable has arrived. Tomorrow I start back at my grad assistantship after a fantastic summer in Providence. I am back to start my final year of grad school. So I want to take a moment and reflect and look forward.

First, on this past summer – I was incredibly lucky to have the AUCHOI that I did. I cant even begin to say how much I enjoyed my RAs that I got to supervise. I learned a boatload from my on call time and what really sticks with me is the student culture at RISD. Now I know these were not full time RISD Students for the summer but my RAs are. It was incredibly refreshing to be around students who were wholly invested in their passion and their major, aka their art. We did an art exchange as a staff halfway through the program and just the way each of them talked about the work they did. On top of it being refreshing and rejuvenating to hear students talk like that about what they are doing – it also re-sparked my own passion for the creative endeavor.

Me and my RISD PC RAs - Summer '14

Me and my RISD PC RAs – Summer ’14


For those that don’t know, I was an architecture major at SU for my undergrad. By the end of that five year program, I was burnt out, completely. And this summer – a year after graduating – being around these students made me want to create again. Mostly I prefer working in watercolor and ink, and I wont go too indepth here (it will be for another post) but that spark has opened new ideas about what the future might look like.

One of my watercolors - New Harbor, Block Island, RI

One of my watercolors – New Harbor, Block Island, RI


So here it is, Sunday morning, and tomorrow I go back to work. Wednesday the first years start moving into the residence halls and a week from tomorrow classes start. This is year number 7 for me on SU’s campus – 5 year undergrad. Its going to be a chaotic year, a face paced year, a year of new experiences. We have a new Chancellor at SU, my supervisor from last year started a new position all the way across the country, and its my last year (read: the job hunt year). I’m really excited for it, I am also very much ready to move on to another institution. I am ready for a place that has a non campus affiliated queer community. A place with a thriving artisan or artist community. I’m ready to be out of upstate new york – my summer in providence RI sure proved that to me. But one day at a time, for now I am going to enjoy the quiet morning on my porch with my coffee in hand. I’m ready to tackle the new year and all the things it will bring.


Queer on Paper: When your resume outs you

So I found myself with rare free afternoon in the office earlier in the week, some how everything got done before lunch (don’t you love when that happens?!). Anyway, I thought to myself that it would probably be a good time to update my resume. I had done a week on call already and mainly all the things in my job description had been touched on or executed in some fashion. So after I wrote up my AUCHO-I internship here at RISD, I was adding the text to my formatted layout and it struck me just how queer my job history is.

Now for those of you who know student affairs, being that I will be a second year, the fall semester is really getting everything in order for the job hunt in the spring. AKA – finalizing my resume and preparing some cover letters for TPE and the like. Now at this point, I’m really leaning towards continuing in a queer/trans* – LGBTQ Cultural Center work but realistically I know that most entry level jobs in the field are in residence life, which is why I am doing this internship. So I haven’t ruled out Reslife just yet but ideally that’s not where I want to be.

So back to my resume. Its UBER queer. I am a grad assistant at the LGBT Cultural Center – where I also worked as an undergrad. I was on staff of a queer publication. I am on the leadership team for NASPA’s GLBT Knowledge community. My resume screams gay and to be honest I am not quite sure how I feel about that. Even the jobs that aren’t specifically queer related – take this internship for example – while most of my things weren’t identity based, I did run the diversity section of RA training.

Just like I mentioned in my last post, I am still undecided about the level of ‘outness’ I want in my job. Even though through action and how things have played out more and more it seems like I am leaning towards being wholly out both as gay and as trans. And maybe this is a little internalized oppression but I cant help but feel like my resume shouldn’t be so ‘gay’ – if that’s even a thing.

So in the coming months it will go through a few different rounds of edits I’m sure, especially given I have an internship in conduct in the fall. With that in mind, I doubt this will be the last you hear about this from me. But I would love to hear people’s thoughts on the job hunt and what it means to give visibility to your queerness.

Oh, hey!


, , , , , ,

So it has been a hot minute since my last post #sorrynotsorry, life aka finals and moving and commencement took over. But since my last post a lot has happened so here we go.

I am currently in Providence working at RISD in Residence Life for my AUCHOI Internship. This week actually marks the half way point! But lets start at the beginning…

So before moving to RI I was really on the fence about whether or not I would come out to any of the staff, or the RAs that I supervise. Granted, since I did my undergrad at SU and now my grad program there, it has been quite some time since I was in a place where it was totally up to me on whether or not people would know if I was trans.

… That lasted about a week and a half. I made it through RD training and then the RAs got here and like a lot of RA trainings across the country, we did some ice breakers – one of which had to do with the origins of our name. Well I don’t really know how to describe my choice of Bryan without explaining that I chose it. I went to court and filed that mountain of paperwork to make it official. With that explanation, inevitably comes the “why did you change it” and so I just came out to all of them in one fell swoop.

At this point in my transition, mainly because of the beard, most people nod their heads like they understand and then a day or two later we will be taking and its obvious to me they don’t remember. Which is fine, except it leaves me with a strange two sided feeling of both invisibility and valuation. Obviously I have some unpacking to do about that.

Its been a great four weeks so far, I’m loving my RAs and I’ve gained some great On-Call stories. But I keep coming back to the out-ness question. Most people assume I identify as gay from my dress/mannerisms, which I’m not too concerned about, but I keep coming back to the navigation of sharing my trans status. Stories have different meaning without that crucial piece, and part me of me feels totally inauthentic if people don’t know. All of these things are something I know I will be dealing with in the next few months, with fixing up my resume (which is super queer), TPE in the spring and the coming job search. I will keep you posted if I come up with any good thoughts, but please share yours!


Me & my fellow AUCHOI Interns for RISD PreCollege 2014

Me & my fellow AUCHOI Interns for RISD PreCollege 2014


One of my RAs made me this =] Obvs all about the beard.

Lets Talk Language.


, , , , , , , , ,

Today I was going to write about the Gender Identity Development Model in my College Student Development text book but after realizing more than half my draft was about the language the chapter used and now this Chronicle article opening quote, I realized lets just talk language. So two very different contexts, one a blog, and the other a published text book used in classrooms around the country. The blog post was flat out wrong (macro) while the text book was more subtle (micro). Now let me get to why.

This was the opening text of the Chronicle post (this first paragraph was removed as of 10pm Sunday Mar 30):

Screen Shot 2014-03-29 at 10.49.03 AM
When it comes to the blog there are two things happening, one is the use of the word transvestite and the word hermaphrodite. Both words are outdated, medicalized, highly offensive, and they aren’t in reference to the same community. Transvestite means a cross dresser. But where transvestite differs from crossdressing, historically it was used to reference those in the community tied to sex work, who often couldn’t access medical transition and predominately towards people of color, transwomen of color specifically. Hermaphrodite is old medical language referencing intersex conditions, the Intersex Society of North America is a great resource for more information. The second thing is that these identities and bodies are equated with meaning absolutely nothing.

So this is the book I am referencing here and you can find it here on amazon.
Evans, N., Forney, D., Guido, F., Patton, L. & Renn, K. (2010) Student development in college: Theory, research and practice (2nd ed.). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass. pp. 327-345.

As I read through the chapter, taking notes as I went along, I realized all my notes designated ‘red flags’ about how words were defined or what was missing. The chapter starts with fundamental concepts which is great but in the first sentence its says: “Sex is biological.” Period end of definition. Oh boy. The next sentence says “Gender refers to the ‘culturally shaped expression of sexual difference’”. Ok, a little better, but conflating identity and expression. Further along we get to “For whom gender identity does not align with biological sex… may identify as transgender.” (cis-gender isn’t mentioned until the following section) Ok, I thought, this is not definitional framework that I 1.) totally agree with or 2.)use in my work.

So here are how I would have gone about defining terms.

Sex – Typically thought of as a Biological binary of M or F. However, in recognizing the medicalized social construction of biology it is more accurate to name Assigned Sex. Things like chromosomes, genitalia, endocrine systems are often markers used to determine “biological” sex, but fail to recognize “unmeasurable” stuff like the phycological factors of self identity, thus Assigned – not biological.

Gender Identity – how one (self) names their gender this can include but is not limited to: cisgender, male, female, transgender, cismale, cisfemale, genderqueer, transman, transwomen, ftm, mtf, trans*(see below), Transsexual(see below), gender variant, gender fluid, gender different, gender neutral ,agender, bigender, Two Spirit, andro, boy or boi, girl or gurl, man, women or womyn. note some people use more than one to name their gender identity
*Trans with a * is used as an umbrella term and definition is specific to an individual, just like all the other words listed.
*transsexual is not a suggested term to use for someone unless they explicitly name thats what they want -means that someone has gone through/is going through medical processes to transition i.e. hormones/surgery/surgeries.- however, it is based in a clinical mentality of the need to medically transition for legitimacy of trans-ness. Also the medical model is equated with the DSM diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder (a mental health diagnosis often needed to access transition resources). In the newly revised DSM-V, it has been reframed as Gender Dysphoria Disorder.

Gender Expression – how one choices to express or ‘perform’ their gender identity: may include but is not limited to: masculine, feminine, androgynous, stud, ag, gender fluid, gender neutral, trans*.

CisGender – when one’s assigned sex matches their gender identity i.e. assigned male at birth and identifies as a man. Cisgender has its origin in the Latin-derived prefix cis-, meaning “on this side of,” which is an antonym for the Latin-derived prefix trans-, meaning “across from” or “on the other side of”. This word has largely been generated by the trans* community(ies). It is to combat the use of “normal gender” or the phrase the book uses “traditional” gender which then frames trans* as other and deviant.

A personal side note and personal pet peeve -do NOT use transgendered. Ever. Transgender is not a verb. It is something you are not something you do (though I am in favor of gender as performance). You wouldn’t say that someone is blacked or gayed or heterosexualed. By using transgendered you are inferring that it is an action, and actions are choices, being trans, like being gay for example is not simply a matter of choice.

The last term I want to elaborate on is when the book sites Bilodeau’s “genderism” which is basically the enforcement of stereotypical gender roles on campus. This is a useful ‘ism’ to describe a social system however, I would go further and name it as Cis-Sexism i.e. the social systematic demand to perform the gender roles associated with one’s assigned sex, the enforcement of a gender binary (M/F), and the invisibility of the trans* lived experience. In light of that definition, the following section based on Bem’s Sex Role Inventory and Gender Schema has to be looked at as a model of this question: do assigned men perform masculinity and do females perform femininity. And yes that question is meant to be binary with little room for “in-between” or outside the binary roles, because if you test as that you can be labeled as undifferentiated (uh what).

So what does this all mean? What would scholarly work that uses inclusive and representative language look like? Thinking about the class where we were discussing this chapter, if I had not been in the room (being the only trans identified student), how would some of these language critiques entered the conversation and how would my classmates preparation for the field have been hindered? How do we institute a sustainable practice for our Professors?

And what about the blog? I am always on the lookout for demonstration of value. What people name or don’t name, especially in regards to communities, is something lately my ears are super sensitive too. What does it say about value that this blog post was on a major publication site for our profession? I am unsure of the rules of editing and approval for the Chronicle, but still who thought that this quote was 1. appropriate or 2. relevant to the article?

These are the questions I am still pondering and reflecting on and I would love to hear your thoughts – Comment below, tweet @Bryan_Mc or email



, , , , , , ,

When I read something, the very first thing I look for is who’s the author, what are the identities they hold and what are their motivations for writing. With that being said I am going to try and answer those same three questions here in my Intro post.

So who am I, why am I in Student Affairs and why this blog?

My name is Bryan and I’m 24. I am in my second semester of Graduate School in Syracuse University’s Higher Ed Program and a Graduate Assistant at SU’s LGBT Resource Center. I am an out gay transmasculine/genderqueer guy who uses They/Them/Their pronouns.

Thats the short version, Heres the long one:
Continue reading